the real me

ive never been one for goodbyes, so here's to a new hello. here's to not caring cause were all gonna die anyways, am I right Nelson???

anyways, its good to finally meet the real you. now here's the real me.

if you really knew me, you would know im actually really shy

and you would know I cant count without using my fingers and the song is the only way I can recite the alphabet.

if you really knew me you would know I fall easy
and fail almost every math test ever taken
and I think I might have insomnia some nights

if you knew the real me you would know I have a dimple the size of Antarctica and a birthmark on my left leg that has bugged me my entire life

if you really knew me you would know I obsess over little things.

you would know that hugging is awkward and kissing is weird
and you would know that I bite my nails when im nervous
and nothing makes me more nervous than talking in front of people


if u really knew me you would know that my sister and I have been inseparable since birth yet i still don't want her to read my blog

and if you really knew me, you would know I sing along to every song


 you would know I get super awkward when other people cry
you would know I moved here cause my dad lost his job and we didn't have a house

so heres to the real me, the real us.

ive found myself here, finally arrived in paris, and im here to stay.


thanks to all of my fellow travelers for the comments and reassurance. and thanks to nelson for opening my eyes

yours truly,
Summer Smith

how could i forget

 

I remember painting with my fingers rather than a brush at three
I remember being four and wishing I could go to school already
I remember a squeaky swing set when I was five
 
 
I remember overalls and braided hair at six
 I remember crooked teeth at seven
 i remember when birthday wishes were for baby dolls when I was eight
 

I remember leap frog on the black pavement at nine
 I remember at ten looking in the mirror and being perfectly content with who stared back

 
I remember at age 11 burying my face into my moms arms at grandpas funeral. only because everyone else was crying and I wasn't. 
 I remember at twelve years old, watching my grandma die and hearing my dad say it was okay to leave.

I remember the first boy I liked, he had a crush on me in the eighth grade
 I remember sticking love notes in green lockers


I remember at fourteen taking sunday walks and stealing red apples off the trees.
 I remember you whispering "everything is going to be alright" and it was, everything was alright at fifteen

I remember at sixteen how my first kiss was gross and weird
and how my second kiss was even worse



 I remember intertwined fingers at seventeen and how I still get butterflies
 
I remember being seventeen and wishing I could be five again
I remember being seventeen and wishing I still painted with my fingers and played leap frog on the pavement and filled my baths with bubbles and was content with my face and still wore overalls.
 Im seventeen

I remember



             cause how could I forget

lost souls